Star on the Door

Cinema legend Doreen Lewis, nervously about to make her Broadway debut opposite her ardent admirer Paul Burnside, intercepts a phone call for her dresser who is secretly wed to Doreen's son confirming that "Mrs. Lewis" is pregnant

Doreen is shocked to learn of "her" condition and decides the likely father is Paul he's never laid a hand on her, but she does tend to be forgetful!. Thinking Paul wants her ousted from the show via her contract's morals clause, she vengefully wears her mink on stage knowing Paul's fur allergy will reduce his dialogue to sneezes

The producer, a shrieking neurasthenic who fears his backer Nunzio will machine gun his knees if the show flops, is terrified, and the Bavarian playwright is reduced to sobbing uncontrollably as his beautiful play goes "to the dogs"

A loony resolution caps this evening of non stop guffaws