The Grand Tour by Sheila Wainwright Baines

Sir Algernon of Lofty Towers,

Sat pondering his lot.

“This acreage needs cheering up

With stuff we haven't got!”

An expedition was his plan

To lands across the seas

In search of treasures, artefacts,

Exotic plants and trees.

“We need conveyance,” thought Sir Al,

“To carry many things.”

So for the first leg of the trip

He built a car with wings.

The packing caused a lot of fuss.

“Too much,” said Al, “I fear!

Just take a stove, the phonograph,

My golf clubs and some beer!”

With spirits high they sallied forth

Aboard 'The Pimpernel'

Milord, his valet, Lady Rose,

The cook, a chum, and Belle.

They breakfasted in Paris, France,

And lunched in St.Tropez.

Then swiftly sped across the Med

For tea in old Pompeii.

“Just what I need,” said Algernon.

“Let's take some ruins home”.

They searched around, and found three urns,

Four pillars and a dome.

“This load's too heavy, mark my words”

Called Chum, a trifle miffed.

“Look for the Nile, we're losing height.

The engine's got no lift!”