Danny Trooper in the Land of ModMyth by Brent Alles

This Play is the copyright of the Author and must NOT be Performed without the Author's PRIOR consent

As the play begins, sounds are heard to indicate that we are on a “Wild West” set.

Exciting classical music is heard, something similar to the “Wiliam Tell Overture,” perhaps.

ANNOUNCER (off): A valiant steed, a cloud of dust, and a triumphant “Palladium, Into the Fray!” It’s THE MASKED MARSHAL! Go back in time with us to the exciting days of the Old West… THE MASKED MARSHAL rides again!

The MASKED MARSHAL enters, waving to the audience. He is then attacked by a band of RUSTLERS!

MASKED MARSHAL: Rustlers! Well, come on, then! You’ll be no match for THE MASKED MARSHAL!

He fights the RUSTLERS off one by one in dramatic fashion, and they finally make their retreat as the theme music fades.

RUSTLER (while leaving): Who was that masked man?

MASKED MARSHAL (to audience): That was a great memory of mine, partners. A great memory.

He frowns and shakes his head.

MASKED MARSHAL: But these days… it just seems there isn’t so much for me to do anymore, you know what I mean? The Old West is long gone… and people don’t seem to care as much about COWBOY heroes.

He smiles sadly and shakes his head again.

MASKED MARSHALL: Aw shoot, listen to me… gathering wool while you folks are trying to watch a story. And it will be an exciting story, folks, that I promise. I’ve got a particular interest in the boy it’s mostly about… Danny Trooper. Why am I so interested in him? Well, I reckon you’ll see why as things unfold.

He pushes his hat up and puts on a big smile.

MASKED MARSHAL: In the meantime, I’ve got some rustlers to catch!

He waves his cowboy hat in the air.

MASKED MARSHAL: PALLADIUM, INTO THE FRAY!

He exits as the lights go down and his theme music plays for another short moment.

The scene changes to the playground of Ryder Elementary.

A BUSH WITH PURPLE FLOWERS is now on stage.

The noise of school children can be heard.

PATRICIA TROOPER leads her son DANNY onto the playground.

PATRICIA TROOPER: Well, here we are, Danny. Your new school. Ryder Elementary.

He looks around but says nothing.

PATRICIA: Look, Danny, I know this is hard. But it’s a new start for us, you know? So, we need to make the best of it.

DANNY TROOPER: I know, Mom.

PATRICIA: That’s my boy.

She gives him a kiss on the forehead and hugs him.

PATRICIA: That’s my little Trooper.

MR. PARKER, the 5th grade teacher at Ryder, enters.

MR. PARKER: Hello! You must be the Troopers. I’m Mr. Parker. I’m going to be Danny’s teacher this year.

PATRICIA and MR. PARKER shake hands.

PATRICIA: Patricia… Trish. Trish Trooper. And this is my son Danny.

MR. PARKER: Danny!

He extends his hand to DANNY.

After a moment, DANNY takes it and shakes it quickly.

PATRICIA: Danny, why don’t you go run and play? I’m going to talk to Mr. Parker alone for a moment.

DANNY reluctantly exits.

PATRICIA: Mr. Parker.

MR. PARKER: David.

PATRICIA: David. I don’t know how much they told you, but… it’s been a tough year for us.

MR. PARKER: Yes, I heard. I’m very sorry for your loss.

PATRICIA: Thank you. You know, being a military wife, you always have the fear that it could happen… the expectation… and then when it does… you’re still not really ready for it.

She shakes her head.

PATRICIA: I’m sorry. You probably don’t want to hear this.

MR. PARKER: No, no. It’s all right. It must have been very hard for Danny as well.

PATRICIA: It has been hard. Danny was always a very imaginative and playful kid before we lost Rob. And then… it just seemed like a light went out. Now he just sits in his room, staring out the window… reading old letters and e-mails from his father over and over… things like that. He won’t even watch his favorite show anymore… G. I. Maxx… you know, that animated show?

MR. PARKER: I’ve seen it.

PATRICIA: He and his dad used to love to watch that together. They did everything together. He’s just having a really hard time coping with the loss.

MR. PARKER: Well, that’s to be expected, I guess.

PATRICIA: I hoped that a move to a new area and a new school would help him. My husband always talked about how great it was here at Ryder Elementary, where he grew up.

A recess bell is heard.

MR. PARKER: Mrs. Trooper… Trish. Thank you for sharing this with me. I really think Ryder Elementary WILL be a good thing for Danny. I’ll do my best to make his first days here go as smoothly as possible.

PATRICIA: Thank you, Mr. Park… David. I appreciate that.

They shake hands again and exit.

Some children – DAWN, CHRIS, KIM, STEPHANIE, TERRY, TOMMY, and TAMMMY – enter to play.

They are joined by DANNY, who stands off to the side and watches them play.

DAWN also stays to the side, a book in her hands.

TAMMY: We’ve only got 15 minutes. What are we going to do today?

TOMMY: Let’s go to the camps!

TAMMY: Tommy, it rained all night. The camps are going to be all wet.

TOMMY: Oh yeah… I forgot.

TAMMY: Besides… YOU KNOW WHO will get us if we go there.

TOMMY (shuddering): Yeah… I forgot that too.

STEPHANIE: I know… let’s play Mystic Heroes!

TERRY (sighing and rolling her eyes): Here we go again. We ALWAYS play Mystic Heroes!

STEPHANIE: Do you have a better idea, Terry?

TERRY: No. Let’s do it. Dawn, who do you want to be?

DAWN: Leave me alone. I’m trying to read! I just have to finish this next chapter of Timmy Doyle and the Books of Magic before the recess bell rings… since they won’t let me read it in class!

STEPHANIE: OK, good. That means 3 on 3 anyway. I’m a hero!

She strikes a heroic pose.

STEPHANIE: I’m the Iron Maiden… using my magic power armor to fight evil!

CHRIS (waving his hands in a “magical” fashion): I’m the Horticulturalist… using my nature powers to make plants grow and trap the bad guys!

STEPHANIE: The hort-a-whats-i-kist?

CHRIS: Come on… I looked it up in the dictionary last night!

STEPHANIE: All right, whatever. Kim, who are you going to be?

KIM (putting on a bad French accent): I am Le Peregrine, fighting the forces of evil with my magic paints!

STEPHANIE (shaking her head): I can’t believe I’m teamed up with these two. OK, Terry, Tammy, and Tommy, that leaves you three as the villains.

TAMMY: Oh come on. I always have to be a villain! Why can’t I be a good guy?

STEPHANIE: Sorry, Tammy, we’ve already picked, and there has to be the same number of villains and heroes to make it fair!

TERRY (not really into it): I am the Evil Shaman, using my mystical powers for the forces of evil.

STEPHANIE: Come on, Terry… you’re not trying!

TERRY (trying a little harder, demonstrating “magic”): Boolie boolie boolie!

TOMMY: I am the Ninja Warrior! Ninjas are super cool… and super evil! It’s time to get PUMPED UP! Ya! Ya!

He does some martial arts moves in a comical fashion.

TAMMY: I am the Gem Princess, who may LOOK evil, but once I was good, and I’m just PLAYING evil to trick the bad guys!

STEPHANIE (shaking her head): All right, as long as that means you FIGHT the good guys right NOW, that’ll be good.

She strikes a heroic pose again.

STEPHANIE: Now, evil villains, you tried to conquer Ryder Elementary, but you won’t get away with it! Prepare to be driven back by… the MYSTIC HEROES!

CHRIS: Why can’t we be the FORCES OF NATURE?

STEPHANIE: Because I made up the name Mystic Heroes, and that’s what we’re gonna be!

KIM (still with the fake French accent): How about “Le Resistance”?

STEPHANIE: NO! We’re the Mystic Heroes, and that’s final! Now come on, we’ve only got 10 minutes of recess left to beat back the evildoers! Take my power blast, Evil Shaman!

She pantomimes a “power blast.”

TERRY (still not into it): Oh no… I am defeated.

He flops to the ground.

STEPHANIE: Well… uh… that was easy.

She clutches her chest in an exaggerated manner.

STEPHANIE: AGH! The… feedback… from the… Evil… Shaman… frying… my… magical power circuits…

She collapses to the ground.

STEPHANIE: Le Peregrine… Horti… Horticult… Plant Man… AVENGE ME!

She pretends to pass out.

CHRIS/KIM (clutching each other): Iron Maiden! No! Whatever shall we do?

TOMMY (grabbing TAMMY’s shoulder and pointing to DANNY): Gem Princess! Let’s go after that bystander there and take him hostage!

He lunges at DANNY with a karate chop.

DANNY flinches.

TOMMY: HI-YA!

TAMMY: Ha! You thought I was evil, but I’m really good! And now I’m going to blast you with my gem, Ninja Warrior, and save the day!

She pantomimes a “gem blast,” with accompanying self-made sound effect.

TOMMY clutches his chest comically and falls to the ground.

TOMMY: Aieeee!

STEPHANIE (after a pause, standing up and shaking her head): Well, that was quick. We’ve still got 5 minutes of recess left.

DOUGIE WYNN (off): Hey, look at all the CAMPIES!

TAMMY: Oh no…

TOMMY: It’s Dougie!

STEPHANIE: Run!

All the KIDS on stage start to run off.

CHRIS stops and pulls at DANNY.

CHRIS: Come on, new kid, you want to get out of here!

He runs off but DANNY, not sure what’s going on, stays put.

Three MEAN GIRLS, five BULLIES, and then DOUGIE WYNN enter and quickly surround DANNY.

DOUGIE: Hey, look! The “campies” found a new friend! It’s a stupid new kid…

He shoves DANNY, who backs away.

DOUGIE: Hey, new kid… why don’t you give me your lunch money… I’m saving up for that new video game I want… “MDK – Murder Death Kill”!

DANNY: I… I don’t have lunch money. My… my mom made me my lunch.

DOUGIE (mocking DANNY): “My mom made me my lunch…”

He grabs DANNY.

DOUGIE: Well, that’s too bad, new kid… cuz if you don’t have money, you’ll have to pay some other way!

The other BULLIES and MEAN GIRLS laugh.

JANET STARR enters and rushes between DOUGIE and DANNY, shoving DOUGIE back.

JANET STARR: Leave him alone, Dougie!

DOUGIE: Or what, Janet? You’ll get your cooties all over me?

The other BULLIES and MEAN GIRLS laugh.

JANET: Yeah? Maybe I will!

DOUGIE: I’m not afraid of you.

He points back to the other BULLIES.

DOUGIE: These other guys in my “gang”… they may have a problem with hitting a girl… but I don’t, “Janet Planet.”

He grabs JANET, snarling.

DOUGIE: I remember that day when you kicked me… maybe I owe YOU some payback…

Before DOUGIE gets a chance to inflict harm, DANNY steps forward in between DOUGIE and JANET and pops him in the nose!

DOUGIE (holding his nose in pain): OWWW!

He releases his nose and looks at his hand.

DOUGIE: I’m bleeding.

He stares psychotically at DANNY.

DOUGIE: That’s it… YOU’RE DONE!

He begins to move forward, but before he can retaliate, PRINCIPAL SWINSON enters and breaks up the fight.

PRINCIPAL SWINSON: What’s going on out here? Mr. Wynn? Ms. Starr?

He looks at DANNY.

PRINCIPAL SWINSON: Mr…?

DANNY (quietly): Trooper, sir. My name is Danny Trooper.

SWINSON: Ah, yes. Trooper. New student.

He looks back at DOUGIE.

SWINSON: Mr. Wynn? Why are you bleeding from the nose?

DOUGIE (trying to wipe the blood away): Me and my friends…

SWINSON: My friends and I, Mr. Wynn. Proper grammar is important.

DOUGIE: My friends… my friends and I were just playin’… playinG kickball like we always do during recess, and this new kid decides to start trouble and sucker punched me right in the nose!

JANET: That’s not what happened, and you know it!

SWINSON: Ms. Starr, BE QUIET. Someone with your poor attendance really doesn’t get a say in something like this.

DOUGIE: Yeah… I mean, YES, Principal Swinson… and SHE egged him on to do it!

SWINSON: Is that true, Ms. Starr?

JANET: It’s not true!

DOUGIE (fake sweetness): Principal Swinson… when have I ever gotten in trouble?

SWINSON: Not under my watch, Mr. Wynn. Under my watch, you are an impeccable student. Your grades are top notch, and your attendance is flawless. You serve as a role model to all your friends. Isn’t that right, children?

BULLIES/MEAN GIRLS: Oh yeah… he’s the coolest… he’s my hero! (Etc.)

SWINSON: Mr. Trooper. Ms. Starr. I’m afraid it’s detention for the both of you today. Ms. Starr, I suppose I’ll have the usual trouble contacting your mother. And Mr. Trooper, I’m very sorry to have to contact YOUR mother and let her know you’ve already proven yourself a FAILURE on your first day here.

He exits.

DOUGIE (getting dangerously close to DANNY): This isn’t over, new kid. You’ll pay for making me bleed my own blood.

SWINSON (off): Mr. Wynn, come along!

DOUGIE: Yes, Principal Swinson! Coming!

He leaves, shoving DANNY as he goes.

The other BULLIES and MEAN GIRLS laugh, poke, and shove DANNY and JANET as they exit.

DANNY rubs his shoulder, looking at JANET, who extends her hand.

JANET: Hi… my name’s Janet. Janet Starr. What’s your name?

He hesitates but then takes her hand, shaking it quickly.

DANNY: My name’s Danny. Danny Trooper.

JANET: It’s nice to meet you, Danny. Thanks for standing up for me back there.

DANNY: You stood up for me. I guess we’re even.

A pause as both of them look at each other, smiling.

The recess bell rings.

JANET: Well, there’s the bell. I guess we better get back to class.

DANNY: Yeah, I guess we better.

JANET: I guess I’ll see you in detention this afternoon too… unfortunately.

DANNY: Well, it’s better than being there by yourself.

JANET: That’s true. Now we’d better get in or we’ll have ANOTHER detention. Come on!

She takes DANNY by the arm and pulls him off as they exit.

The BUSH WITH PURPLE FLOWERS suddenly has a strange, strong purple light emanating from behind it as strange, slightly ominous music plays. The light then slowly fades.