Dirty Royal Shoes by Deborah Kinnebrew
Characters:
King - Father of the 12 princesses
Royal Treasurer
Maid/Old Woman
Amelia - Eldest Princess
Loreena - Youngest Princess
Lord Tristan - Nobleman
Rowan - Soldier
Prince Adam - Eldest Prince
Prince Simon - Youngest Prince
Next to Eldest Princess
Third Eldest Princess
Prince with Hat
Young Men
Princesses
Princes
Guards
Executioner
SCENE 1
THE THRONE ROOM—MORNING
AT RISE: A large room with a throne and a small table with chairs are
nearby. The KING sits on his gilded chair while two armed Guards
stand against the door. Suddenly, the Royal Treasurer rushes into the
room carrying a ledger as he approaches the King.
One of the Guards pulls out his sword and steps forward, but when the
King raises his hand, the Guard steps back, lowers his sword and
resumes his position against the wall.
ROYAL TREASURER
Your Majesty! Please, take a look at this! If we continue to pay for
these items, your riches will soon be depleted.
KING
You speak nonsense. My riches will never run out! I have a vast
amount of land, further than the eye can see.
ROYAL TREASURER
But sire, the shoes…
KING
Again?!
The Royal Treasurer nods his head and as the King stands up his voice
gets louder.
KING
But I locked the door myself!! I bolted it and used the special lock
you gave me!
ROYAL TREASURER
Yes, sire.
KING
Then you gave me a defective lock!!
The Royal Treasurer begins to back away. The Guards shift their
position as they look on.
ROYAL TREASURER
No, sire. Neither the special lock nor the bolt were disturbed.
The King plops back down into his chair with an exasperated
expression. The Royal Treasurer moves closer.
ROYAL TREASURER
When the Maid took them breakfast this morning, she brought back
these, from their room.
The Royal Treasurer hands the King a pair of shoes which are badly
worn. The King snatches the shoes then steps down from his throne.
He throws the shoes across the room and begins to yell as he paces
back and forth, while the Royal Treasurer tries to keep up with him.
KING
This is outrageous! This is out of control! We've replaced their
shoes almost every day for the last…the last…
ROYAL TREASURER
Three months, your Majesty. Three months.
KING
Didn't I warn those girls that if this happened again, there wouldn't
be anymore shoes, and that they could stay in their room forever?!
ROYAL TREASURER
Yes, your Majesty, you did warn them.
KING
Where do they go? What do they do?
ROYAL TREASURER
I don't know, your Majesty, maybe the Maid can tell us more.
The King stops pacing and brightens for a moment.
KING
Then get her! Get the Maid, I want to speak with her!
ROYAL TREASURER
Yes, sire.
The Royal Treasurer exits and moments later, he returns with the MAID.
The Royal Treasurer gives her a small shove and she makes a curtsey
before the King.
KING
Well, well. I am told that you know where my daughters go each
night.
The Maid looks at the Royal Treasurer, who nods, then looks back to
the King.
MAID/OLD WOMAN
No, your Majesty, I do not. I only know that each morning when I take
them their breakfast, their shoes are worn in the soles as if they
have been dancing all night.
KING
Dancing!! Dancing?! Dancing with whom?
ROYAL TREASURER
(hands behind his back)
Yes, with whom?!
MAID/OLD WOMAN
I don't know, your Majesty.
KING
You've known my daughters since the day they were born, surely you
must know more.
The Royal Treasurer gives the Maid another small shove.
ROYAL TREASURER
Yes, tell the King what you really know.
The Maid narrows her eyes at the Royal Treasurer as she pulls herself
up tall and turns to the King.
MAID/OLD WOMAN
Your Majesty's wise advisors would tell you, that many a young man
would come from near and far, to dance with your twelve princesses.
KING
(stands and pulls out his sword)
Who are these men who take liberties with my daughters! I have no
need to wait for my soldiers, I'll kill them myself!
ROYAL TREASURER
I will help you, sire. We will slay the young men together!
MAID/OLD WOMAN
(stifled laugh)
Your majesty, you can slay as many as you like, but more will surely
come.
The King sits down, strokes his chin, then rises and begins to pace
again. This time both the Royal Treasurer and the Maid follow along
with him. From time to time the King has an idea, stops and then
changes direction.
ROYAL TREASURER
Sire, what if we stopped replacing their shoes?
KING
Have you forgotten when we did, how their feet were sore and bleeding?
How the doctor attended them all?
ROYAL TREASURER
What if we placed more guards around the castle?
KING
Why? No one has ever seen them leave, nor return.
MAID/OLD WOMAN
Perhaps, your Majesty, can make a contest…a reward for anyone who
can figure out this puzzle.
ROYAL TREASURER
Puzzle? This is no game, wench!
KING
(stops and smiles)
Wait!! I like that idea!
ROYAL TREASURER
You do?
KING
Yes! I'll make a proclamation!! Get me a paper and pen! It must be
sent out today!!
The Royal Treasurer scurries about and gives the King a paper and pen.
The King sits at the small table, writes the proclamation then reads
it out loud.
KING
Any nobleman in my kingdom will inherit a portion of my riches, and
win a special prize, if he can figure out what is going on in my
household.
The King hands the proclamation to the Royal Treasurer who passes it
to the Maid, and she in turn, gives it to one of the Guards. The
Guard bows and exits with the paper.
KING
Now, it's time for me to see those girls. When they hear my plan, I'm
sure they'll straighten themselves up quickly! Bring them here!
The Maid exits, the King sits down and the Royal Treasurer stands
close by.
ROYAL TREASURER
I don't think that woman should be trusted, your Highness.
KING
Why not? She was the nursemaid for all of my children and the queen
loved her.
ROYAL TREASURER
Yes, the lovely queen.
KING
(sighs)
If my queen were alive today, I wouldn't even have this problem.
Moments later, the Maid enters with the twelve princesses following
behind. They all stand at attention with their hands clasped in front
of them. The King rises and waves a pair of shoes at them as he
speaks.
KING
You girls promised me!! You said you would stop your foolishness and
act like the young ladies I am raising you to be!
Some of the girls avert the King's gaze while others shift about.
KING
And now I've been told that you have been dancing! I want to know
where and with whom?
AMELIA, the eldest princess, steps forward.
AMELIA
We were here, Father.
KING
You were not here, because if you were inside the castle, your shoes
wouldn't be worn to threads!!
LOREENA, the youngest princess, puts her head down when she speaks.
LOREENA
It's the fairies, Father.
KING
Fairies?
AMELIA
Yes! They come into our room at night and steal our shoes. When they
return them in the morning, they are worn out. Isn't that true,
sisters?
Her eleven sisters all nod their heads.
KING
Amelia, I should have you whipped for telling me such a ridiculous
story! In fact, I should have all of you whipped!
AMELIA
Father, we have great respect for you. Why would we lie?
KING
Because you want more shoes!! Who will marry you if you continue this
way?
AMELIA
Who will marry us, if they don't even know we're here?!! You keep us
locked up in this castle like we're prisoners!
KING
I do this for your own protection! No one will wed until you are all
of marriageable age.
AMELIA
I am already four and twenty years!
KING
You won't have to wait much longer. Loreena's birthday is very soon.
AMELIA
I will go mad before her next birthday.
KING
It is only a month away.
AMELIA
Sometimes, I feel that if I must wait one more day, no one will ever
want me.
KING
And they won't if you're soiled, because you couldn't wait!
AMELIA
(screams hysterically)
You don't care about us!! You only care about your precious silver
and land!! Oh, how I wish it would go up in flames.
The princesses gasp, the King moves closer to Amelia so that his face
is very close to hers. His voice is deep and controlled.
KING
What did you say?
AMELIA
(holds head up high)
Nothing, Father…I said nothing.
The King grunts before he turns back to all of his daughters.
KING
Don't ever forget…I am still your king and your father. And one
day, all of you, will see that I am right.
The King turns and exits, the Royal Treasurer follows behind him. The
Maid watches them leave before she turns to the princesses and motions
for them to gather around.
MAID/OLD WOMAN
Your father has sent out a proclamation and it concerns you.
AMELIA
Tell us! What does it say!
MAID/OLD WOMAN
He has challenged all of the young noblemen in the kingdom to find out
where you go every night.
AMELIA
We go nowhere, but he won't believe us.
MAID/OLD WOMAN
Why should he, child? Your shoes have been ruined every night for the
past three months, and you won't tell him why.
NEXT TO ELDEST PRINCESS
He is a king! Let his advisors help him!
AMELIA
Yes, let him pay them with his precious silver and land.
MAID/OLD WOMAN
Don't worry, he is doing just that.
AMELIA
What do you mean?
MAID/OLD WOMAN
His proclamation states that any nobleman who solves the mystery will
receive a portion of his kingdom and may choose any one of you to be
his bride.
The sisters gasp, shriek and tremble. They chatter among themselves.
Amelia holds up her hand to silence them.
AMELIA
Quiet! Let her finish!
Everyone is quiet.
MAID/OLD WOMAN
Beware, noblemen will come. They will sleep in the royal guest room
so they can spy on you.
The princesses cry and hold their stomachs as if they're in pain. The
Maid takes a small pouch out of her pocket and hands it to Amelia.
MAID/OLD WOMAN
There are pills inside. Put one in a cup of wine and give it to any
man who comes to spy on you. It will make him sleep soundly through
the night.
AMELIA
Thank you, loyal Maid, you have given us hope.
The Maid makes a curtsey and quickly exits while the princesses talk
loudly among themselves. Amelia claps her hands for silence and the
princesses quietly gather around her.
AMELIA
You all heard what Maid said. If Father wants to reward people who
watch us, then we will do the watching instead…as they sleep!
The princesses clap and laugh, except for Loreena.
LOREENA
Why don't we stay in? I think then Father may let us go out to
parties and…
AMELIA
You silly goose! Don't you know he has plans to marry each one of us
to the highest bidder?
The princesses, stand wide-eyed, watching Amelia and Loreena.
AMELIA
If Loreena wants to stay here all night, she can. Is anyone else
afraid?
The princesses are quiet.
LOREENA
I'm not afraid.
AMELIA
Prove it.
LOREENA
How?
AMELIA
Follow us, and this time, dance, enjoy, and stop your complaints.
LOREENA
But, what if Father finds out?
AMELIA
(laughs)
How? It's been three months and no one yet, has figured out how we've
danced holes in our shoes.
LOREENA
What if Father refuses to buy us more shoes?
AMELIA
Then he'll have them repaired, but he won't let us go barefoot again.
NEXT TO ELDEST PRINCESS
Yes, I remember well. There was blood all over, soiling everything,
and the doctor had to come!
The other princesses all nod their heads. Amelia waves her arms about
excitedly.
AMELIA
Let's go back to our room and get dressed! No one can ever stop us!
The princesses exit.
SCENE 2 - PRINCESSES' BEDROOM - NIGHT
There are beds lined up (painted on the scenery), a chest sits on the
floor which holds the gowns and shoes. There is a ladder in the
corner of the room that leans against a wall with a short platform.
The princesses giggle while they rush about gathering their party
gowns. They help one another get dressed while Amelia helps Loreena
with her dress and hair.
LOREENA
Amelia?
AMELIA
Yes, my little one.
LOREENA
Maybe I am a little scared…
AMELIA
Of what?
AMELIA
When all of you are dancing, I am left alone with Prince Simon.
AMELIA
The youngest one?
LOREENA
Yes.
AMELIA
Don't ever be afraid. You know, we're never far and would never let
anyone hurt you.
LOREENA
I know, but there's so much drinking and dancing…
AMELIA
(looks at all of her sisters)
Everyone, from now on, we will not drink too much nor will we dance
too far
[end of extract]