Finding Forever by Catherine Scott

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This Play is the copyright of the Author and may not be performed, copied or sold without the Author's prior consent

ACT I

SCENE I

(The Foyle home. Steps lead up to a large porch. At the top of the
steps is a screen door leading into the house. To the right is a
table, a porch swing and chairs. Emma and Jansen are talking as they
come through the screen door.)

JANSEN:
.still have some time before we have to get ready.

EMMA:
For the party?

JANSEN:
Our fiftieth anniversary, Em! Can you believe it? Our successful,
intelligent - and may I say handsome? - children will raise their
glasses and tell our successful, intelligent, (if not always
handsome), friends that we , ourselves, are successful, intelligent,
(and handsome, I must say), and we will all toast to ourselves.

EMMA:
And a good time will be had by all!

JANSEN:
Yes, I have no doubt of that. Amazing how much pleasure people get
out of giving you parties once you reach, oh, sixty or so. It's as
if they want to cram all kinds of merriment into your life once
you're old. What they don't know is that you've already crammed
a hell of a lot of merriment into those years and you're tired, damn
it!

EMMA:
You have time for a nap, and then you'll be in the mood for
merriment.

JANSEN:
(takes her hand)
Woman, if you let me take a nap, I'll be ready for more than
merriment!

EMMA:
You old lecher.

JANSEN:
What else could I be at 78? I'm too far along in years to be a
young lecher. And, Miss Priss, "There is nothing either good or bad,
but thinking makes it so".

EMMA:
Hamlet. He quotes Hamlet to me.

JANSEN:
How could I live with a professor of literature for fifty years and
not quoth something! Lord knows you quothed at me enough.

EMMA:
Quothed at you?

JANSEN:
Quothed. A person knows when he's being quothed.

EMMA:
Of course he does. That was a nice one and quite appropriate

JANSEN:
I thought so.

EMMA:
But, "nothing either good nor bad"? Doesn't sound like
something I'd quote.

JANSEN:
No, indeed. You generally choose less obvious and wittier repartee,
my dear. It's part of your charm.

EMMA:
You, on the other hand, seldom paid much attention to anything Mister
Shakespeare had to say. That's part of you.

JANSEN:
Don't think that I didn't notice you left out the charm part,
Emma. On this of all days, you should be mindful of my charm.

EMMA:
Jansen, if I hadn't been mindful of your abundant charm for the
last fifty years, I wouldn't be here!
JANSEN:
Well, I guess that's true.

EMMA:
"I like this place, and willingly could waste my time in it."

JANSEN:
Ah. Shakespeare, again.
(In loud, theatrical tone)
"A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!"

EMMA:
(Laughing)
What was that about?

JANSEN:
It's the only other quote I knew, and I couldn't let you get
ahead.

EMMA:
Well, that explains it, then.
(Pause)
Has it been so difficult being married to a professor?

JANSEN:
Why, not at all. It's like having a walking library in the house.
Who wrote this? Euripides, she says. And who said that? Elmer Fudd,
she says.

EMMA:
Elmer Fudd?

JANSEN:
Yes, he was particularly memorable in Julius Caesar.
(In Elmer Fudd voice)
"Fwiends, Wromans, countwymen, lend me your ears; I come to buwy
Caesar, not to pwaise him". You know, Em, that's what I always
liked best about you. You knew the classics on both sides of the
aisles.

EMMA:
Both sides of the aisles meaning literature and cartoons?

JANSEN:
Exactly.
EMMA:
Well, you know, I always did particularly well in my studies of 20th
Century Cartoon Characters and their placement in society.

JANSEN:
An admirable woman. An excellent woman, Dickens would say.

EMMA:
You only read literature so you have something to make fun of,
don't you?

JANSEN:
Well, not exactly, but the things about which I could make fun would
be so dreadfully limited without literature, wouldn't they? And,
that's what education is for, Emma. To expand our limits. Has it
been so difficult being married to an engineer?

EMMA:
Of course not, Jansen! The children and I were ever so proud of you.
Once we learned never to wonder out loud how something was
constructed, thus avoiding your taking it irrevocably apart.

JANSEN:
Irrevocably?

EMMA:
Never to be returned to its functioning state.

JANSEN:
But, taking it irrevocably apart? Wouldn't that mean that I never
stopped taking it apart?

EMMA:
Of course not. That would be silly! It's the apart part that
irrevocable, not the taking.

JANSEN:
How stupid of me.

EMMA:
It's all right, Jansen. I'm used to it.

JANSEN:
Really? You should be nicer to me.

EMMA:
I am nice to you.

JANSEN:
Hardly. You know, I could have married Nettie Nelson. She didn't
have a smart mouth.

EMMA:
Nettie Nelson is your cousin.
JANSEN:
She is? I guess that's right

EMMA:
Some genes are not meant to be distilled into concentrated form.

JANSEN:
and mean. A smart mouth and a mean mouth.

EMMA:
Well, there you go.
JANSEN:
There I go? Yes. I am irrevocably Nettieless.

EMMA:
And stuck with Emma of the smart mouth.

JANSEN:
And mean mouth. It appears so. For fifty years. Now, that's
irrevocable. At least the damage I've sustained is! I should have
been a lawyer. I'd have sued your ass.

EMMA:
You big baby! What would you sue me for?

JANSEN:
Millions! That'd teach you!

EMMA:
Jansen, I'm married to you. You'd be suing for our money

JANSEN:
How would I know that? I'm not a lawyer! And I'm not a
professor, throwing around words like irrevocable. Such a .. a final
word. So little really is irrevocable. I took a few things apart,
but we just bought new things. And it didn't happen very often.

EMMA:
Well, it took a little time. First, I had to live with you long
enough to discover that you broke things. Regularly. Then, the three
children each had to grow into the idea. By the time Mark was five, we
had it pretty well in hand.

JANSEN:
Posh! I broke very few things. Anyone who can be responsible for
stress analysis on twenty -ton structures.
EMMA:
Couldn't figure out that his 190 lbs. would break baby Austin's
rocking horse if he sat on it?

JANSEN:
Damn it! What a memory! And, besides, things were made better in my
day.

EMMA:
Yes, toys were stronger in the Stone Age. Not as portable, mind
you.

JANSEN:
Stone age jokes. Is it nice to tell Stone Age jokes to someone my
age?

EMMA:
Probably not. Can you tell me something?

JANSEN:
What's that?

EMMA:
How did I ever wind up married to a seventy-eight year old man?

JANSEN:
And you, such a spring chicken!

EMMA:
Cluck!

JANSEN:
Peep. I think spring chickens peep.

EMMA:
Okay. Peep.

JANSEN:
(Laughs)
I'm not taking you anywhere peeping and clucking. Talk about
senile!

EMMA:
Keep it up, Grandpa, and I'll put on my new blue dress and go to
the party with a young, virile suitor.

JANSEN:
Instead of an old, virile engineer?

EMMA:
Indeed.
JANSEN:
Threatens me, she does. I'm old and I need a nap and I have to go
to a party full of young people who'll tell me it's wonderful I
still have my mind, and she threatens me!

EMMA:
Jansen, you are so silly! No one thinks your mind is still all
right! It will be a wonderful party.

JANSEN:
I have no doubt, my dear. Austin, Olivia and Mark and the next
generation of Foyles will have peeled and pitted, cooked and
cleaned…

EMMA:
(laughing)
Boned and boiled….

JANSEN:
Fried and fricasseed….

EMMA:
Fluffed and folded….

JANSEN:
I don't know that laundry counts, but - .baked and blended.

EMMA:
It's part of housework like cooking and cleaning - diced and
deveined

JANSEN:
Minced and mashed

EMMA:
Uh…stitched and swept

JANSEN:
Should have picked a dumb woman! Uh, sautéed and sliced

EMMA:
Should have picked a subject you know something about! Scoured and
scrubbed.

JANSEN:
Ordered out and ordered in.

EMMA:
Oh, laundry doesn't count but that does?

JANSEN:
Okay, you win that round.

EMMA:
Of course.

JANSEN:
Of course?
EMMA:
Jansen, I've been winning for fifty years, except when I let you
win. There will be so many lovely people there tonight

JANSEN:
Let me win? Let me win? I think someone is getting a little too
big for her britches…..

EMMA:
My britches are just fine, darling. We do have a little time before
Theresa gets here, though. I'll get some tea.

JANSEN:
That would be good. I'm going to rest up for dancing, and extra
curricular activities.

EMMA:
What extra curricular…..
(Jansen leers at her)
Oh! Never mind. Yes, you'd better rest up.

(Emma goes through the screen door. Jansen lays his head back and
closes his eyes. Emma shuts the screen door, and uses chalk from her
pocket to write FIMMAH on the screen, so the audience can read it.
Jansen waits until Emma has gone inside, then gets up and goes to the
screen door. He sees FIMMAH written there, wipes it off with his
handkerchief, and writes it again so that it can be read on the
inside. Then he goes in, and returns almost immediately with a small
box and a corsage with a yellow ribbon)

EMMA:
(Carries a tray of iced tea. When she sees FIMMAH, she stops and
smiles.)
Do you want some tea, Dear?
JANSEN:
Sure.
(He drinks)
That's good.
(They hold hands and rock, companionably silent)

EMMA:
Theresa's bringing her young man with her.

JANSEN:
Yep. Name's Stephen uhDugout or something.
EMMA:
Dugout?

JANSEN:
Basement.
(Emma crosses her arms and glares at him)
Crawlspace, catacomb. Something subterranean. I don't know.

EMMA:
Sellers, Jansen. Perhaps it's Sellers?

JANSEN:
Yes, well, I said something

EMMA:
I'm sure he's very nice. Theresa has always had interesting
friends.

JANSEN:
Well, he's just finishing law school. What did Shakespeare say?
"The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers."

EMMA:
(Laughing)
King Henry! Not exactly the voice of sanity, dear!

JANSEN:
Yeah, but a lawyer! Wants to start his own firm! He'll be
interesting if he doesn't starve to death, I guess. Actually, it
might be an interesting process people often see visions and such
during long fasts.

EMMA:
I suspect no young man would suit you. You were this way when Olivia
was dating, and you've been worse about Theresa. She is so precious
to you.

JANSEN:
Resa hasn't had an easy life, Em.

EMMA:
Perhaps not, Jansen. Austin has been pretty tough on those kids.

JANSEN:
Well, we never did see eye to eye. Even when he was a boy. But,
Resa…she's special.

EMMA:
Jansen, she's always gotten the approval from you that she's
sought from Austin. And he just can't seem to give it.
JANSEN:
Nope. Our eldest son is not what you would call a font of parental
support.

EMMA:
It's difficult. But, I guess he does what he can.

JANSEN:
Emma, Resa always needed more than Austin and Angela are willing to
give. Them and their damned political aspirations.

EMMA:
Yes, the children sometimes got the short end on that deal.

JANSEN:
You know why Resa's always been my favorite, don't you?

EMMA:
Well, she's the one who's always needed us the most, Jansen. And
with Kitty and Sam and the twins being so far away

JANSEN:
That's not it, Emma.

EMMA:
Then enlighten me, dear.

JANSEN:
She's the most like you, Em.

EMMA:
Theresa? In what ways, Jansen?

JANSEN:
Well, she looks like you, Em. She has those same flashing eyes and
quick smile, and that snotty way.

EMMA:
(Laughs and slaps him playfully)
Snotty way? Why thank you!

JANSEN:
that I love, darling. That I love!

EMMA:
Oh, that won't get you out of this, you old coot!

JANSEN:
See, name-calling! That's snotty!

EMMA:
Oh, posh. It's affection.

JANSEN:
Well, there we go. Resa's affectionate. She's never called me
an old coot, but she's affectionate! And, she's always been
interested in literature and history. I'm glad she decided to stay
here for grad school. I think she's going to be a good teacher.

EMMA:
She is. Do you remember when she'd come over for the weekends and
we'd wind up reading "The Arabian Nights" for hours? Or "King
Arthur and the Nights of the Round Table"? She loved to be read to.

JANSEN:
Well, this lawyer of hers had better be something special if he hopes
to win Lady Resa's hand.

EMMA:
You overprotective old bear! What magical qualities must he possess?
Have you a pair of garden shears in a stone, perhaps?

JANSEN:
Well, I don't know! Be nice if he could make a living

EMMA:
I think he should be kind and have a wonderful sense of humor.

JANSEN:
Yep, that's good.. He should value himself as a man

EMMA:
and value her equally as a woman.

JANSEN:
Well, of course you'd work that in!

EMMA:
Of course.

JANSEN:
What else?

EMMA:
He'd be brave, and introspective. And generous with his affection
and his money and his time.

JANSEN:
All good. And, he'd be a man other men could respect..

EMMA:
And, he'd be a passionate lover.

JANSEN:
Yeah, well, I don't really want to think about that.

EMMA:
But, she does, Jansen!

JANSEN:
Probably true.

EMMA:
He should be absolutely loyal, absolutely honest. And, best of all,
he'd have a bit of trouble with his eyesight, and especially acute
hearing.

JANSEN:
What?

EMMA:
Oh, that's a necessity!

JANSEN:
Poor eyesight?

EMMA:
Yes, because every time he looks at her, he has to believe he's
seeing the most beautiful woman in the world. In the morning, at
night, when she's sick, or tired, or sick and tired. Or when she's
no longer young..

JANSEN:
(He strokes Emma's face)
But still incredibly beautiful.

EMMA:
Yes, at least in his eyes.

JANSEN:
Ah, and acute hearing?

[end of extract]

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