In The Ring by Carl J Grasso

This Play is the copyright of the Author and must NOT be Performed without the Author's PRIOR consent

A hotel room. In the middle of the stage
There is a dining table that is big enough for four, however there are only two chairs, one tucked in stage right, the other upstage center.
Upstage right is a door, with a plain looking large plant behind it. A young girl dressed in a waiter's uniform is placing silverware, opening a bottle of wine, placing napkins where they should be and in general she is making the dinner table nice and neat. This young girl's name is Collette. The door opens and two women enter. An older woman is dressed very professionally and she is talking on a cellular phone, she is named Jennifer, the younger woman is dressed very pop music star, her name is Ashley.

JENNIFER
Okay(on cell phone). Wolfgang get the plane ready in two hours. Yeah two hours should be fine. Okay bye. (to
Collette) Collette right?
COLLETTE
That's me. Table is set, wine is open, there are some bread-sticks in the center there. The dinner should be ready in thirty minutes.
JENNIFER
Thank you Collette, we'll see you later.
COLLETTE
Just wondering Ms. McClernon, we have two choices for dinner, a Chicken or a seafood special-
JENNIFER
Oh she'll have the seafood Collette. We'll see you in thirty. Thanks. (beat) Actually, let me ask you something outside. I'll be back Ashley.
Jennifer lays her phone down on the table and walks off with Collette stage left. Ashley looks around and studies the room for a moment. Jennifer's phone RINGS. Ashley picks it up and answers it.
ASHLEY
(on phone) Hello, Oh no I'm not Jennifer no I'm her friend. Yes this is her phone (beat) Yeah, sure, no problem. She just stepped out, Okay, your name was? Okay I'll tell her, yeah Bye.
Ashley hangs up phone and Jennifer walks in. Collette leaves through the door Jennifer and Ashley came in.
ASHLEY
Hey your -?
JENNIFER
(ignoring) NOW, Do you know what to do Ashley? This is very important. What are we going to do tonight?
ASHLEY
Yes, Uh...just have dinner for an hour with that girl, the contest winner.
JENNIFER
Yes, you can take pictures, sign autographs, but be careful with the chatter, keep it to the weather, understand?
ASHLEY
Yes.
JENNIFER
I ASKED YOU IF YOU UNDERSTAND!?
ASHLEY
Yes, Jen, I know. I got it.
JENNIFER
Just do what I tell you to do, and stop slouching.
ASHLEY
I wasn't slouching.
JENNIFER
Don't give me any problems Ashley, okay. Now, I'm going to-
I SAID STOP SLOUCHING!
Jennifer grabs Ashley and puts her in a better posture.
ASHLEY
OKAY OKAY!
JENNIFER
I know I'm a little hard on you, but I have to be. We need more money. This dinner will show the public that you're good to your fans, okay? Don't mess it up. If the guest asks you about your NEW album what are you going to tell her?
ASHLEY
That we're finishing up my new album "Dandelion" right now, and it will be available soon wherever music is...sold?
JENNIFER
Good Ashley. Perfect always push the album. You did good. Now let's go get the contest winner. And like I said before don't slouch do you want me to get you a back brace?
Jennifer leaves Ashley to the hotel room, it is decorated with a table for two that has hors 'd oerves on the table as well as Chips and Dip and a bottle of wine. The table has two chairs opposite each other. Ashley looks at everything for two beats and then Shannon walks in. SHANNON is dressed conservative with a Denim jacket, she has black hair and she is wearing a necklace with a ring around her neck. Ashley transforms instantly to pop star mode and goes over to Shannon.
ASHLEY
Oh Hi! Welcome it's so great to meet you.
SHANNON
Hi. I won this prize eating cereal. A big golden ticket was in my breakfast.
ASHLEY
So your name is Shannon right?
The two ladies shake hands.
SHANNON
Yes, I'm Shannon. Nice to meet you Ashley.
ASHLEY
You must be excited, this is a great hotel and you're going to have some gourmet food. And I have a couple of glossy's of myself and if you need me to autograph anything it'll be no problem.
SHANNON
Uh, look, Ashley can we talk real quick. Is there any way we could, I mean it's not like I'm not flattered that I won this prize out of like a million people; but is there anyway I can get the, uh, cash value for this dinner and leave right now?
ASHLEY
I'm sorry Shannon, I'm confused. You're saying you don't want to be here?
SHANNON
Well, it's just, uh, I kind of need the cash. And you seem nice and all, but I DON'T want to be here. It's against my better principals you see. I have nothing against you, I don't KNOW you, so maybe we could just pretend, you know, I was here, I'll take pictures for proof I met YOU and I'll be on my way.
ASHLEY
Did you speak to my manager?
SHANNON
No. I didn't actually.
ASHLEY
Yeah, she told me I have to stay for a full hour for, um... "contractual reasons?" I think it has something to do with the hotel and the contest. It looks like we're stuck here.
SHANNON
But see that's what I'm asking YOU. Is there anyway you could slip me, you know, a few bills, so I can get out of your hair and jump out the window? I mean I have a gig to get to at eleven o'clock. I'm musician.
ASHLEY
Wow! YOU do music too. You don't want to eat dinner with me?
SHANNON
Honestly, it's not you. This prize is probably worth a lot to somebody else but me. To me it's honestly a waste of my time. I don't like my time being wasted, you probably don't like your time being wasted. I mean we're not going to have an intelligent conversation here, I don't even know really who you are. I just need the money to be perfectly honest.
ASHLEY
I wish I could help you, but I don't carry any money at all. No cash anyway.
SHANNON
What do you mean, you don't carry money with you?
ASHLEY
I DON'T have what you would call a wallet.
SHANNON
What I call? Trillions of people on the Earth call it a "wallet." You have a purse right there.
Shannon points to Ashley's very expensive "Coach" bag.
ASHLEY
Yeah, but that holds my make-up, my phone and my little dog Butch.
SHANNON
Your dog is in there? That's one small dog.
ASHLEY
No, Butch is home, in his cute little beddy-bye.
SHANNON
Are you okay? Did you just malfunction?
ASHLEY
No, I usually talk baby talk to Butch.
SHANNON
You named him Butch?(Rolling eyes) You're kidding right? What is he like one of those Shit-Cock's or something?
ASHLEY
He is a designer dog, yes.
SHANNON
Back on Earth we still call those mixed-breed's- Mutts!
ASHLEY
Butch is not a Mutt!
SHANNON
Come on, look, It'll make both our lives easier. You give me a check and I...will leave you alone.
ASHLEY
I signed a contract, Shannon. I am obligated to stay here. Sorry.
SHANNON
And you don't have your check-book on you?
ASHLEY
A what?
SHANNON
Oh Great, A check-book! I said.
ASHLEY
I actually don't have one.
SHANNON
You've never written a check before?
ASHLEY
No I haven't. But who does anymore?
SHANNON
Get the hell out of here! Most Americans who have bank accounts write checks. You must get a pay-check, or do you get your money in a brown paper bag under a table in some bus station?
ASHLEY
I never carry cash on me. My manager has the money.
SHANNON
I don't get it, you're rich for some reason? Right? This is the right room it said on the door "This way to the Rich Bitch."
ASHLEY
There is a sign that says that? Where is it in the hallway?
SHANNON
Oh my God. Can I JUST GET the money and leave!
ASHLEY
I'm sorry but I can get my manager in here and explain the whole thing again to you.
SHANNON
Yeah, I guess I need it explained to me. I don't live in the world where Butch the dog lives in my purse but not a check-book! I bet you have never made macaroni and cheese.
ASHLEY
Wait what?
SHANNON
Really Kid? You never boiled water, put macaroni in and added orange paste? I thought you were a superstar. You know you can bang anybody you want, and snort coke off any male super model at all hours of the night.
Jennifer the manger walks on stage right.
ASHLEY
I'm sorry I think you got me confused with somebody else.
SHANNON
Listen you have a lot of money, I just want my share.
I want my twenty-thousand that I'm supposed to have gotten in the prize and then I'll get the hell out of here, I don't want to have dinner with you, I don't know who you are. So let's keep this fucking friendly.
JENNIFER
Is there a problem here?
ASHLEY
Shannon...this is my manager...Jen-!
JENNIFER
Thank you Asley, I'll talk to the grown-up! I'm sorry, Shannon is it?. But the contract strictly says you have to stay at least for sixty minutes to collect the money. It's "Win a Dinner with Ashley Mclernon." That's the contest you entered, and actually won. Now I know you signed the piece of paper called a contract, I was in that room with our attorney, so if you leave, I'm afraid you're going to forfeit your winnings.
SHANNON
What was your name Ms. Agent lady?
JENNIFER
Blake, Jennifer Blake. You can call me Jennifer.
SHANNON
Jen, I'm not a fan. I'm NOT! It was a fluke that I won this prize. I figured I'll just take the cash and give the prize to one of those deserving groupies outside and we'll call it a day. Am I being so unreasonable?
JENNIFER
Shannon. Can I speak to you away from Ashley?
SHANNON
Why are you going to pull something out of your pants like a rabbit or something?
JENNIFER
No, I just wish to speak with you privately.
SHANNON
You're not an alien who is going to whip out an intergalactic dick and hit me with it?
JENNIFER
That's VERY funny. Intergalactic...dick? That's creative. Can I speak to you please? Please?
ASHLEY
Why can't you talk in front of me?
JENNIFER
Sorry, Grown up's talking.
The two woman go off stage right.
SHANNON
Look, I'm reasonable. Let's just call it a day and we ALL can go home.
JENNIFER
I've worked in this business too long, here is exactly what's going to happen you're going to sit at that table, pop a few of Ashley's pimples, tell her she looks marvelous, and eat some really, really expensive food all paid for by this marvelous hotel which we in part are also advertising along with the contest with Ashley Mclernon. It's a brand thing! Did I also mention that this dinner is FOR FREE! And then afterwards you get a cash prize, and you don't have to do anything but sit there and kiss her ass! IT'S SO EASY! Let's just do that okay. It's only an hour.
SHANNON
Wow, you almost looked like a dude there when you're upper lip hair twitched when you were talking about the marvelous hotel. You know don't feel bad, I have an ear hair that just won't go away.