Love and Darkness by David Elendune

This Play is the copyright of the Author, and may not be performed, copied or sold without the Author's prior consent

ACT ONE SCENE ONE.

Atmospheric music, the sun slowly sets upon the gothic outskirts of a dying city An animalistic figure hides, waiting for SAM and GREG to enter.

GREG: Keep up Sam, we're almost there.

SAM: You said that three nights ago.

GREG: Yeah well this time I'm telling the truth.

SAM: Right. Ouch! I mean it's alright for you; but even with these things, I still can't see jack… useless piece of

SAM adjusts his night vision goggles.

SAM: Greg? Damn it, don't leave me. Greg? Where are you?

GREG: Over here.

SAM: Where, I'm not like you, I can't

GREG: Hell's teeth. You've got ears haven't ya, try following my voice.

SAM: That shouldn't be too difficult, guy hardly ever shuts up.

The animal attacks SAM.

SAM: Greg! It's got my leg. Help me!

GREG: Hold on Sam!

SAM: It's biting me.

GREG: I'm coming!

SAM: Stab it!

GREG: What do you think I'm doing!?

SAM: Well stab it harder! Why are you stopping?!

GREG: Because it's dead.

SAM: Are you sure?

GREG: Positive. Well I guess that explains that.

SAM: What?

GREG: For the last couple of nights I've had a feeling something was following us.

SAM coughs.

GREG: And that sounds like it's getting worse.

SAM: I'll live.

GREG: You'd better, coz I didn't bring you all this way for you to crap out on me now.

He recognises something.

GREG: Well Hell, what do you know.

The stage becomes somewhat better lighted.

GREG: Abracadabra! See, told you we'd make it!

SAM: What was that thing?

GREG: A power box.

SAM: No, the thing; that attacked me.

GREG: Oh, that. Trust me, you don't want to know.

SAM: But we're safe now, right?

GREG: I guess. They don't usually hunt in packs. But then they don't usually hunt this close to the city. Now let's have a look at that leg of yours. See, only grazed. Couple of blues, you'll be right as rain.

GREG gives him some pills then offers him his flask to wash them down with.

SAM: It's cold.

GREG: Crap. Seal's broken. What?

SAM: I'm scared.

GREG: Whole world's scared. I'll take first watch.

GREG feels SAM'S forehead and gives him his coat. SAM coughs. There's blood on his lips. Noises off. They hide.

A young female enters - she wobbles then collapses half obscured

GREG goes over.

GREG: You can relax; it's just a girl.

SAM: What're you doing?

GREG: Checking her for weapons.

SAM: But I thought you said she's just a girl?

GREG: Yup well, so was Little Red Riding Hood; and things didn't turn out so well for the wolf now did they!?

Producing her wallet.

GREG: Lucy Harker from Kansas. Guess you're not in Kansas any more. Well what are you waiting for, an invite?

SAM: Damn Greg; I mean she isn't even conscious.

GREG: Good. That way she won't look at you. Well chop, chop, people to do, things to see. So you just do what has to be done and we'll be on our way. Bingo, everyone's happy.

SAM: Except Lucy.

GREG: And like who's going to miss her? Anyways judging by these marks you'll be doing her favour.

SAM: I doubt she'd agree.

GREG: I mean it's not like we're in Texas and you're related or anything. Though from this angle you do kinda look similar.

SAM: That's not funny.

GREG: Yup maybe not. If you don't do this they'll know.

SAM: How, you going to tell them?

GREG: I won't have to. Guy like you, they'll smell your innocence a mile off. I can't help you. Not in this.
SAM: I can't. I'm sorry.

GREG: Yeah well so am I.

He pulls out a knife, moves towards SAM.

GREG: Best get out of the way.

GREG continues over to Lucy.

SAM: Stop. I said stop. I'll do it! Alright!?

GREG: Ok, ok I heard you the first time. Look, take your time. Scream if you need a hand with anything. You know how to scream, don't you? You just put your hands together and arrhhh!

SAM: Still not funny! Forgive me.

SAM starts to lay LUCY flat on the ground; we don't really see what he's doing to her SAM reappears.

GREG: That's my boy. So c'mon ante up; how was it?

SAM is now no longer ill but instead is a vampire, as is GREG Sam is also drunk with blood.

SAM: Like blueberry pie, sweet and fresh, just like Grandma used to make. Ah Greg, I don't feel so great.

GREG: It's called blood brain Hang onto something not me. Trust me: it'll pass.

Noises off. The following dialogue tumbles.

GREG: Anak's spleen, what is this: happy hour?

SAM: Uh oh here comes the second wave. That's weird; I can't feel my hands - huh?

GREG: Please not now Sam ah crap.

SAM: Ah there they are is my tie straight where's my tie?

SAM faints. GREG goes to check on him. Enter MAXINE (AKA MAC GREG'S estranged wife).

MAC: Well, well look what the wolf dragged in.

GREG attempts to kiss her on the cheek.

MAC: Oh no you don't, when was the last time you had a bath?

GREG: August.

MAC: Really, what year?

GREG: Cute. Please don't touch him.

MAC: I'd rather touch sunlight.

GREG: Honey.

Mac: Don't you honey me.

GREG: I swear this isn't how it looks.

MAC: And just how does it look?

GREG: Honestly Mac, he's just a friend.

MAC: Really!?

GREG: Spike my heart and hope to die.

MAC: I can arrange that.
GREG: I don't doubt it.

MAC: Well then at least we both know where we stand.

GREG: And where does Sam stand?

MAC: In the gutter where it belongs the girl?

GREG: It's nothing to do with me. Scouts honour.

MAC: Yes well it's such a shame when these youngsters can't handle their blood. Come, sit, sit I am still your wife after-all. Sit. I promise not to bite Well isn't this nice. Just like old times. Yes It's good you've returned.

GREG: Your father ordered me to, why was that?

MAC: Oh come Greg you're nothing special.

GREG: Thanks.

MAC: All the nobles have been recalled, even those in disgrace.

GREG: Mac, what's happened?

MAC: You don't know?

GREG: Would I ask if I did?

MAC: With you I'm never sure.

GREG: So you going to tell me or not?

MAC: The old King died.

GREG: Crap. When?

MAC: When you were away. And well, just when it seemed things couldn't get much worse, here:

Handing him a scroll.

MAC: The Emperor of the East declared he will either have our new Queen's hand or her head.

GREG: And they say the age of chivalry is dead.

MAC: You'd know. Smells like rain Jackson's back.

GREG: Hell, things must really be bad.
MAC: Bad isn't the word, Bishop Constantius says we ought to

GREG: Wait a minute, back up, what happened to Bishop

MAC: Loki.

GREG: Yeah, that's the fella.

MAC: Let's just say he had a bit of a falling out with our new Queen.

GREG: Over what?

MAC: The top of the southern ramparts. Presumably she felt his choice of subject matter for her father's eulogy was unwise: you know; how patricide is a sin.

GREG: A subject I guess your Uncle Julius is choosing not to explore in his sermons.

MAC: Hardly, he's far more interested in drumming up support for another Holy War.

GREG: Is he mad?

MAC: Debateable.

GREG: But the East would squash us like a bug!?

MAC: No stupid, not against the Emperor.

GREG: Then who: The Hairies? Oh Anak preserve us, please don't tell me he wants us to have pop at the humans!? Jeez Mac, doesn't the idiot remember what happened last time?

MAC: Apparently not.

GREG: But surely your father can't agree with him.

MAC: Greg, my father is my father.

GREG: Yup, ain't that the truth.

MAC: By the way, he sends you his regards. In his own way I think he rather likes you.

GREG: Hell, I'm a likeable person.

She leans over LUCY.

MAC: But well, even you must realise how in this city gossip spreads quicker than a teenage whore's legs.

GREG: Of course, it's why I went, that and Am

MAC: I thought we agreed never to mention Greg, when you left I stayed, I waited, alone, lying to everyone. Of course they all knew "Poor old Maxine they say her husband's left her so sad. Pass the mustard."

GREG: Mac I

MAC: You what: 'You love me!?'

GREG: Yes.

MAC: Then why'd you abandon me?

GREG: Because I'm a coward.

MAC: Why then come back?

GREG: Because I'm an idiot?

MAC: Mother always did say I must have had my bastard radar switched off the night I met you.

GREG: Heck, if anyone was going to have faith in me it certainly wasn't going to be her.

MAC: Arghhh, how could I have been so dumb!?

GREG: I don't know, sucker for a pair of pretty red eyes.

MAC: You turned him, didn't you!?

GREG: No!

MAC: Oh don't bleed on me and tell me it's raining!

GREG: C'mon Mac, like when have I ever lied to you!? Sure I mean I haven't always contradicted you; you know when you've jumped to the wrong conclusions but

MAC: But nothing! Greg, if you didn't turn him, who did!?

GREG: I don't know.

MAC: You don't know?

GREG: No and you see

MAC: What Greg, what do I see?

GREG: Neither does he.

MAC: Neither does he what?

GREG: Know.

MAC: And that's what he told you, is it!?

GREG: Yes, no, not in so many words.

MAC: Then try fewer words.

GREG: He was abandoned.

MAC: What do you mean abandoned?

GREG: Discarded.

MAC: Or he merely made it look that way.

GREG: For once why can't you just take my word for something!?

MAC: Don't do this Greg.

GREG: Don't do what?

MAC: This isn't about us.

GREG: You could have fooled me.

MAC: That's not saying much.

GREG: Gee thanks.

MAC: Alright, have it your own way, as usual, spit it out: what's his story?

GREG: What's the point?

MAC: Because I want to take your word for it.

GREG: Yeah, right.

MAC: Spike my heart and hope to die. Time out?

GREG: Look, if you really want to know, seems his maker got disturbed before he finished feeding and simply left him to die. And don't act so surprised, it happens all the time, especially in the border regions.

MAC: I didn't know you were in the border regions.

GREG: I didn't think to send a postcard.

MAC: Cute. Go on.

GREG: It was just before dawn, I was making my way back to a ruined farmhouse I'd been using as a bolt-hole. And there collapsed against the door was this figure. Newly turned only hours old so fragile his whole body wracked by the judders could have taken him to pieces with a tooth pick.

MAC: Then for the love of Lucifer why didn't you?

GREG: C'mon Mac, I couldn't leave him outside; his skin was already beginning to blister. If you'd have been there

MAC: Oh no, don't you dare try to take the high ground Greg I'm not ready!

GREG: Argghh Mac, when are you going to get it into that sweet little head of yours: because as much as you try, you can't control the world. At best you can only change the odds. And sometimes even then

MAC: 'Fate will roll you snake eyes.' Save it Greg, I've heard your little casino speech before.

GREG: Then at least you know it's true.

MAC: But we still don't know anything about him.

GREG: We know he'd have died if I hadn't helped him.

MAC: Perhaps that would've been for the best.

GREG: Ok then.

He hands her the knife.

MAC: Ok then Don't rush me.

GREG: I'm not.

MAC: You know I hate it when you rush me.

She can't bring herself to kill SAM.

MAC: Damnation! He has such lovely hair.

GREG: Just like his mother.

MAC: Oh no no no! I don't believe this.

GREG: Mac, he's within the walls, according to doctrine, you're his mother!

MAC: Don't touch me I'm serious, don't even look at me. Does anyone else know about him?

GREG: No, not unless someone's recording this you're not recording this are you?

MAC: I'm going to pretend I never heard that.

GREG: Pretend all you like, still won't alter a damn thing. Mac, what is it? What?

MAC: Did you feed tonight?

GREG: No. Only Sam did. Why?

MAC: It's cold.

She drinks from the flask.

GREG: The seal's broke. Mac?

MAC: Look, it's just: the priests are saying there's, there's this new plague, carried by humans in their blood. And our scientists they've been working on a vaccine but well, they fear there's no cure. And so well, it's illegal to feed without permission.

GREG: But if he's our son, then doesn't that makes him your father's grandson and if that's

MAC: Greg, it won't wash this time.
GREG: Oh c'mon Mac, a word in the right ear, a coin in the right pocket; what's it going to cost: 3000, 4?

MAC: His life!

GREG: Crap. Why didn't you say something?

MAC: What before I knew he was the long lost son I never knew I'd lost!? What are you doing?

GREG: Isn't it obvious. We've got to get Sam out of here before the priests send someone. C'mon give me a hand. What?

MAC: The priests already have sent someone.

GREG: Who? You!? You came here to spy on me, for the priests!?

MAC: I'm sorry.

GREG: Oh well that makes it alright then doesn't it!

MAC: I didn't know.

Noises off.

MAC: I called for back-up. I'm sorry.

GREG: So you keep saying. Stay with the kid.

Enter the Church of the Vampire Guards.

GREG: You, don't you touch him. Don't any of you touch him I'm warning you Back off! Sam, for Anak's sake, wake up!

SAM: No, I don't want to. Lucy! No! Greg, who's this? She's nice, bit long in the tooth. Oooh blood not mine I hope hello, welcoming committee you look very sideways - Why the frown, Greg?

GREG: Let's just say we're in a spot of bother. Ah, you there, do you know who I am?

DARREL: Yes sir we all know who you are. Now if you would be so good as to step aside sir, my men and I have our orders to carry out.

GREG: Those orders being?

DARREL: The apprehension of this young man here.

MAC: Indulge him Lieutenant

DARREL: Darrel Ma'am, Kraygon Darrel.

MAC: It's what he's become accustomed to.

DARREL: Ma'am; the accused is to be arrested and taken to your uncle on suspicion of committing an unauthorised slaying of a human within the city limits.

GREG: And what then?

DARREL: I will go home sir, having finished my shift.

GREG: You know Darrel if there's one thing I hate in life it's being patronised by stupid people.

SAM: Now hey, all of you; listen to me! I haven't a clue what any of this is about but I'll tell you what I do know and that's this flask is filled with pure Vitamin D. That's right the next one of you who makes a move gets some liquid sunshine right in the kisser!

DARREL: Take it easy there lad there's a good boy we all know you're bluffing, so just you put it down.
SAM: Why, what have they got planned for me Greg?

GREG: Why don't you tell him honey?

MAC: Death.

DARREL: Technically the punishment is decapitation then immersion of the severed head in running water though it pretty much amounts to the same thing.

MAC: Yes thank you Lieutenant.
SAM: Hold on, they're going to chop off my head, for killing a human I mean we're all vampires here right aren't we supposed to be on the same side!?
GREG: Now there you've got to admit Darrel, he's got a point so can't you just, you know, turn a blind eye, step aside - and we'll be on our way. Mum's the word eh?

DARREL: I would if I could…

GREG: But you can't.

DARREL: No.

GREG: Ah well, no harm in asking.

DARREL: None at all.

GREG: How about a fifty second head start?

DARREL: Sorry.

GREG: Yeah well isn't everyone.

DARREL: Well, don't just stand there lads, seize the boy.

SAM: Whoa, who you calling a boy!? Because now let's get one thing clear: I'm not going down without taking some of you with me so I guess the question remains which one of you wants it first? You; or how about you damn it!

Some of the flask is spilt on DARREL who when he doesn't melt, takes the flask off Sam.

DARREL: It's cold.

GREG &MAC: The seal's broke.

DARREL: AB negative 38 68, White Russian of peasant stock if I'm not mistaken. Pregnant, third trimester, the unborn foetus gives it that slight 'edge'.

GREG: You certainly know your blood.

DARREL: I took a course. Ok boys party's over!

MAC laughs and claps everyone freezes.

MAC: Bravo, bravo, alright dear, I think this little charade of yours has gone far enough. Don't you think it's high time you both came clean. That is if it's all right with Your Grace? Gentlemen please let me introduce to you Samuel Von Fleischman Duke of Zotania - one of our more important border countries.

SAM affects an accent.

SAM: That's Sam to my friends. Lieutenant.

MAC: Now Darrel, obviously the Duke as a stranger in our land, was caught unaware of our new laws. And in the interests of avoiding another unfortunate diplomatic incident I hope we can make an exception to these events.

DARREL: What events?

MAC: Thank you Lieutenant.

DARREL: If it's important to you Ma'am, it's important to me.

MAC: We won't forget this.

SAM: Yes I feel most awfully sorry for inconveniencing you all.

GREG: No apology is necessary Your Grace.

SAM: And yet I do feel how do you say most

GREG: Awkward?

SAM: An excellent choice of word.

GREG: You're welcome Your Grace.

MAC: Yes well, I'm sure Your Grace must be feeling tired from your travels. And so we would consider it an honour if my husband and I could escort you back to my father's house.

SAM: Yes, that would be most

MAC: Satisfactory?

SAM: Another excellent word. You two are a most appealing match. You may not see it but ah, love is blind.

MAC: That accent I thought you said he was from the border countries.

GREG: No I said I found him there I never said
SAM: Yes really, Gregor, I know how you remarked on our long journey many times how your wife was charming but I wasn't prepared for just what a stunner, err how stunning she is shame on you.

GREG: Sam, don't speak to your mother like that.

SAM collapses.

MAC: Greg he's burning up. Oh no, don't tell me that girl was his first feeding. Why didn't you tell me?

GREG: I was getting to it.

MAC: And when was that?

GREG: When he wasn't about to have his head cut off.

MAC: But if we don't get him to a medic he'll die.

GREG: Tell me something I don't know! Lieutenant, it appears His Grace is feeling somewhat unwell. We need to get him to my father-in-law's asap.

DARREL: You two, well look sharp-ish, take the lad to Lord Trajan's house, on the double! And you: get rid of the code one.

DARREL gets a couple of his men to help carry SAM. LUCY is also cleared away.

Exit all. Fade to black.

[end of extract]

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