Ooops by T. J. Hartung

This Play is the copyright of the Author and must NOT be Performed without the Author's PRIOR consent

Murphy’s Law of the Theatre: If something can go wrong, it will happen in front of an audience.

Cast of characters:

Sergio (the victim), 40’s to 60’s, a successful business man.
Consuela, Sergio’s wife, 40’s to 60’s, the lady of the house
Maria, the maid, usually proper and subservient
Alberto, the son, 20’s to 30’s, student – working on an MBA
Gabriela, the daughter, 20’s to 30’s, a student of engineering
Jorge, Sergio’s brother, dashing but not a business man. Holds records in pistol competitions. Lives in Sergio’s house. A very good dancer. He wears a wig to make him look younger.
Carlos Gonzalez, Police inspector, serious type

2 Mozos (“handy men”) – [no lines – can be stage manager and an assistant]

All scenes take place in the great room at Hacienda del Plata. There is a window about center stage depicting a desert scene outdoors. There is a small bar, a couch or love seat, and a table with a CD player and a phone (must have a cord to the handset). There are 2 doors, SL & SR. Time period is present day.

 
Act I – scene 1

(Scene starts with complete blackout. On lights up [quickly] Sergio is standing SL and is startled by the light. After 1-2 seconds – complete blackout [quickly]. 3-5 seconds later, lights up. Sergio is on the floor on his back [or side] apparently dead. Consuela enters SR with a hankie in her hand. She has been crying. She goes to the phone and dials a number.)

Consuela: (into phone) Hello, police. This is Consuela Bautista de Rodriguez. I just found my husband dead on the floor. (She turns to look at Sergio and the phone cord comes out of the phone base.) No, I don’t see a weapon. (Pause) No, I’m not being threatened by anyone. (Pause) Yes, I’ll wait for an inspector. (Pause) No, I won’t touch anything. (Pause) Thank you. (She goes to place the handset back on the base and notices the dangling cord and reacts to it. She plugs the cord back into the phone base.)
Gabriela: (entering from SR, she is wearing 2 different shoes) What’s wrong mother? I thought I heard you scream.
Consuela: (pointing to Sergio) It’s your father. (Sadly, choking up) I’m afraid he’s dead.
Gabriela: (She makes the sign of the cross) (Then, consoling her mother) What happened?
Consuela: I’m not sure. I walked in to see him and found him on the floor.
Alberto: (entering from SL) What’s wrong mother? I thought I heard you scream.
Consuela: (pointing to Sergio) It’s your father.
Alberto: (quickly walking over to Sergio) Oh my God. (pause) What happened? (Looking back at Consuela) Is he (beat) dead? (He makes the sign of the cross)
Consuela: I’m afraid so. (She sobs)
Jorge: (entering from SL, he is wearing a gun belt with a gun in the holster) I thought I heard you scream, Consuela. Are you OK?
Consuela: (pointing to Sergio) Oh, Jorge (beat) It’s your brother. I’m afraid he’s dead.
Jorge: (He makes the sign of the cross) (Shocked. Looking at Sergio, then Alberto, then Gabriela) What happened?
Consuela: I don’t know. I just walked in and found him on the floor.
Jorge: I’m so sorry. (Looking at Consuela, then Alberto, then Gabriela) He was a good man, a good husband and a good father. (beat) May he rest in peace! (He makes the sign of the cross again.) (pause) (Looking at Consuela) Have you called anyone?
Consuela: Yes, I called the police a few minutes ago. They said they’d send an inspector right over.
(pause)
(pause)
Alberto: (ad libbing) Yes, he should arrive any minute now. (glaring at the sound man)
(pause)
(pause)
Gabriela: (glaring at the sound man) I thought I heard the door bell.
Consuela: (a little confused) Ah. (beat) Yes, (walking to the door SL) that must be the police inspector. (opening the door) Welcome to Hacienda del Plata, inspector. (She glares down the empty hallway.)
Carlos: (entering thru the door SR) Oh, please Consuela, call me Carlos. We’ve been friends for too long to use titles and such formality.
Consuela: (startled, turning to greet him, and leaving the door open) It was good of you to come so quickly, Carlos.
(Door bell rings) (All glare at sound man)
Carlos: I brought some men from the coroner’s office to take care of Sergio’s body.
(Two men enter thru door SL carrying a stretcher. They place the stretcher next to the body, and roll the body onto it. As they lift the stretcher, it rips, leaving Sergio face down on the ground, while the two men walk off SL, carrying the remains of the stretcher.)
Carlos: I should have the coroner’s preliminary report within an hour. Meanwhile, I would like to gather as much information and evidence as possible.
Gabriela: Do you suspect foul play?
Alberto: (looking around at the others) Do you think one of us killed him?
Carlos: At this point, all I know is that Señor Sergio Rodriguez Peña is dead and that his body is on the way to the morgue, where Doctor Pablo Hernandez, the county coroner, will examine it to determine a preliminary cause of death. Based on his initial findings, Doctor Hernandez may conduct a partial, a complete, and an extensive autopsy.
Consuela: This is too much for me. I’ll be in my room if anyone needs me. (she exits SL, but on the way she closes the door SL)
(Maria enters SR)
Alberto: Inspector Gonzalez, this is Maria, our maid.
(Door SL opens slowly)
Carlos: Good to meet you, Maria, even under these terrible circumstances.
Maria: What terrible circumstances? I heard Señora Consuela crying. What is happening?
(Alberto closes the door SL)
Jorge: I’m afraid, Maria, that Señor Sergio has passed away.
(Door SL opens slowly)
Maria: (shocked) Oh, Dios mia. (She makes the sign of the cross) What happened?
Carlos: Right now, all we know for sure is that the master of the house has died, and that the county coroner will give me a preliminary cause of death within an hour.
Gabriela: I need to go to the chapel to light a candle for my father and say a prayer for the deliverance of his soul. (She sobs and takes out a hankie)
Alberto: I’ll go with you. (They both exit SL)
(On the way out, Gabriela closes the door SL)
Carlos: Maria, I’ll need to speak to you and everyone else in the house. Please do not leave the premises.
(Door SL opens slowly)
Maria: Yes Inspector. I understand. I must go to the chapel to say a prayer for Señor Sergio. (She exits SL, but on the way she closes the door SL. The door remains closed)
(Sergio realizes he must be offstage and starts to do an “inch-worm” towards the exit SL)
Carlos: So, Jorge, it is good to see you again, even under these circumstances.
Jorge: Ah yes, Carlos, or should I say “inspector.” We haven’t spoken since I beat you at the county pistol match several months ago. (He pats the pistol in his holster)
Carlos: That was not a good day for me. I was tired and my hands were not as steady as they normally are. I drank too much coffee in the morning to wake me up after not sleeping well the night before. I’ll know better next time.
Jorge: I look forward to shooting against you at the regional pistol competition next month. And afterwards, perhaps a few drinks and a game of pool.
Carlos: I look forward to it, my friend. It’s a date. (He takes a notepad and pen out of his pocket) Now, can you tell me who has been in the house today?
Jorge: Yes, of course. Well, there’s me, of course, (beat) and Consuela, Sergio’s wife. (pause) Then there’s Gabriela and Alberto, their two children. (pause) And also Maria, the maid.
Carlos: (writing in his notepad) No one else? No workers, handymen, deliveries?
Jorge: No, the house has been quiet all day. No one else has been here.
Carlos: Good! I’ll need to talk to everyone about what happened, where they were and what they were doing.
Jorge: I understand. I’m sure you’ll have the complete cooperation of everyone in the house. Where do you want to begin?
Carlos: I’d like to start with Consuela. I understand she discovered her husband and made the phone call that brought me out here.
Jorge: Yes. I’ll take you to her. Come this way. (they exit SL)
(Fade to black)