Same Difference by Will C Franklin
Act One
(Setting includes a table with at least three chairs. This should set
up stage right. At an angle, stage left has a park bench. Matt and Jay
are already sitting at the table, waiting for Jeff. They're playing
cards with the usual banter)
MATT: (Looking at cards) What are you planning on doing the week
before classes start?
JAY: (Looking at cards) Probably grab my books, check out where my
classes will be, visit my professors you know, that sort of
thing.
MATT: (Looking at Jay) Okay, now what are you really going to do?
JAY: What do you think? Party, party, announces myself to all the
magnificent ladies, then party, party and, if I get a chance, party
some more. I thought you'd know me by now.
MATT: (Sarcastically) Yes, yes. I've known you for years. What could
I have been thinking?
JEFF: (From offstage right, angry and loud) MATT? Oh, MATT?!? Where
are you?!?
(As soon as Matt hears Jeff say his name, he begins to look very
nervous and starts looking around for an escape route)
JAY: (Without thinking of it) He's in here, Jeff.
(Matt gives him a very nasty look)
JAY: What? He asked a question. It'd be rude not to answer him.
JEFF: (Again, loud from off stage) MATT!
MATT: (Frantic) Oh crap.
(Matt runs off stage right. Jay takes this opportunity to look at
Matt's cards. A few seconds later, Jeff walks in to see Jay sitting
by himself, still looking over Matt's cards)
JEFF: Where is he? (Jay points to the direction where Matt ran off)
JEFF: (Starts walking in that direction, mutters lines as he goes)
Matt?! Oh, Matt?! You're making it harder on yourself.
(Jeff walks off stage right. After a few seconds, you hear a loud
banging and shouting. Things like 'Jeff, no' or 'What did I tell
you?' should be heard coming from backstage. Meanwhile, Jeff ignores
all of the noise and continues to look over the entire deck of cards.
Every once in awhile, he'll lift up his head to listen to what's
being said, then shakes his head and goes back to the cards. After
it's over, Jeff walks back to the table alone)
JAY: So, what did Wonderboy do?
JEFF: He knows what he did.
JAY: Fair enough.
(Matt comes out to the table to sit down. He's rubbing the back of
his head and staring at the ground. Like a child who knows he's done
something wrong, he keeps staring at the ground and rubbing his head)
JEFF: Bet you won't do that again, will you?
JAY: Hey, I thought we were going to play cards tonight? We're all
leaving next week for college and this is going to be one of the last
times we get to hang out for awhile. Now, if you two are done mending
fences or kissing and making up or whatever it is you crazy kids do
nowadays, can we please get started so I can take all of your money? I
need that money for, well, let's just say that I'll be converting
all of it into singles later. For um laundry money. Yeah,
laundry money.
JEFF: I broke up with Cindy tonight.
(Pause)
JAY: Can I ask her out?
JEFF: What? No. You're dating Rebecca.
JAY: Well, it's not like we're married or anything. I don't see
no rings on these fingers!
JEFF: I think it would probably be in your best interest to stick with
Rebecca.
JAY: (In a very nonchalant, you-should-know-this kind of way) Jeff,
we're going to college.
JEFF: I'm aware of that.
JAY: You, of all people, should be aware of this one, simple fact:
You're going to college, and you're going to be playing football.
And, if by chance you end up making the game-winning play, your
popularity level will rise very, very high.
JEFF: I think you're putting too much into this.
JAY: What are you, crazy? When I come to visit you, your legions of
fans and admirers will be flocked around you. And when you introduce
them to your boy Jay, all will be right with the world.
JEFF: And how do you figure that?
JAY: I'm going to tell them that whatever it is you did to win the
game, I taught it to you in high school.
JEFF: You didn't play football, and you don't know much about it.
JAY: You really are missing the point here. No wonder Cindy broke up
with you.
(An awkward silence fills the room as Jeff and Matt stare at Jay)
JAY: What? Too soon?
MATT: How did she take it?
(Cindy walks in quietly from stage left and sits on the bench)
JAY: (Rapid-fire questioning) Was she upset? Did you burn any bridges?
Were you upset? Can I ask her out?
JEFF: (Rapid-fire answers) Yes. Maybe. A little. And again, no.
MATT: Well, what happened?
JEFF: (Stands up and starts walking over to the bench) Things were
going fine. We had dinner, we watched a movie and then went to the
park.
(Jeff is telling the story to the boys, but he's actually reliving
what happened in his head. Matt and Jay look on while all this takes
place)
CINDY: (Staring at the ground, not looking at Jeff) So
JEFF: (Looking at Nothing in particular in the night) So
CINDY: Did you like the movie?
JEFF: Huh? Oh, uh, yeah. It was fine.
(A moment passes. Nothing is said.)
CINDY: So what do you think about this weather?
JEFF: It's a bit chilly for this time of year. But other than that
CINDY: (Interrupting) Don't break up with me.
JEFF: What?
CINDY: Please don't break up with me.
JEFF: What would give you that crazy idea?
CINDY: I just have this feeling like you're going to break up with
me.
MATT: (To Jeff) See, she could have just had a feeling.
JEFF: (To Matt) Shut up! Nobody's talking to you. You're a bad,
bad person.
JAY: (To Matt) What did you do to piss him off?
MATT: (To Jay) You don't want to know.
JAY: Did you ask Cindy out?
MATT: No. Will you shut up? I want to hear this.
JAY: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize everyone was hormonal
tonight.
JEFF: (Back to Cindy) You've got a feeling that I'm thinking about
breaking up with you?
CINDY: I know you're not happy.
JEFF: I'm very happy. Why would you think I'm not happy?
CINDY: Jeff
JEFF: Okay, I'm a little unhappy.
CINDY: (Worried) Why? Was it something I did? It was something I did,
wasn't it?
JEFF: Cindy, we've been together for two years. You got a full ride
at Duke and I'm going to play football at South Carolina.
CINDY: That's what it is? You're upset with me that I didn't
want to go to South Carolina. If you're unhappy about that, I can
always transfer to South Carolina. I wouldn't mind.
MATT: Dude, Duke is all she's been talking about since she got
accepted. That doesn't sound like something she'd say.
JEFF: Matt, I swear
JAY: Yeah, I've gotta take his side on this one, Jeff. She was
pretty excited about going there.
JEFF: (To both of them) Who's telling this story? Everyone who just
broke up with their girlfriends, please, raise your hands.
(Jeff raises hand. Matt and Jay look away)
JEFF: No, no. Keep them up so I can count.
MATT: Fine, go ahead.
JEFF: Cindy, I don't think you should transfer from Duke. It's a
good school and I know how much you wanted to go there.
CINDY: I'd ask you to come to Duke, but I know you've always
wanted to be a Gamecock.
JEFF: That's true. But Cindy, you're really smart. I mean really
smart. You have an opportunity to get out of here and do something
good with your life, and I think you should do that. You, me we
were great. But I know it's not going to work. And it won't be
fair to either of us being so far apart. In the long run, that's
going to hurt you, and I can't do that. So, sure, it may hurt a lot
now, but some day, you'll be able to get over me. Take care, kid.
(Jeff walks back over to table, sighs, and sits down)
JEFF: And that was it. It was really hard, but it had to be done.
JAY: Wow, that was a truly unbelievable story.
JEFF: I know
JAY: No, I mean that it really is unbelievable. Come on. You expect us
to believe that your little tale of woe there is what actually went
down?
JEFF: I don't know what you're talking about.
JAY: Cool, so you don't mind if I ask
JEFF: Yes, I would mind.
MATT: I'm sorry. I'm just not buying what you're selling there.
JEFF: (Standing up) Oh, well let me show you what I'm selling on the
top shelf then.
JAY: Calm down, Goliath. Top shelf? What does that even mean? Anyway,
no one here's questioning you. It's just that we don't believe
you.
JEFF: You don't believe me.
JAY: That's all I'm saying.
MATT: What really happened?
JEFF: I thought we were going to play cards tonight, guys.
JAY: We were, until you came in and played us the latest scene from
Pretty Little Liars.
MATT: (To Jay) I thought some of that sounded familiar. Did he take it
from last week's episode?
JAY: Matt, don't you think this situation is uncomfortable enough as
it is? And, for the record, I'm not sure what Ali's going to do or
what's going to happen if Ezra's actually A, but I'll be sure to
read up on it in this week's issue of 'Teen Oh My Gah, Shut
Up!'
MATT: Sorry I asked.
JAY: As well you should be! So, what's up Jeff? You going to belly
up to the bar and tell us what happened, or are we going to have to
get the phone for Matt so he can call Jaime and find out what happened
from her? I'm sure Cindy and Jaime have been talking about how you
let her down easy ever since Cindy got home.
JEFF: All right, fine. But I want you both to know that I hate you
very much. Especially you, Matt.
JAY: Man, you can slice the love with a spoon tonight, can't you?
MATT: What?
JAY: Nevermind.
(Jeff gets up and goes back over to the bench. At this point, Cindy
has become very cold and calculated)
CINDY: (Staring at the ground, not looking at Jeff) So
JEFF: (Looking at nothing particular in the night) So
CINDY: Did you like the movie?
JEFF: Huh? Oh, uh, yeah. It was fine.
(A moment passes. Nothing is said.)
CINDY: So what do you think about this weather?
JEFF: It's a bit chilly for this time of year. But other than that,
it's fine.
CINDY: This isn't working out.
JEFF: What's not working out?
CINDY: Us. We're not working out.
JEFF: What? Why?
CINDY: I've been analyzing this for awhile now, Jeff. You're going
to school at South Carolina. I'm going to school at Duke. We would
be almost four hours apart. You have football practice, games where
you'd have to travel and, at some point, you'd have to study for
school so that you don't flunk out. Whereas I have to focus on my
grades so that I don't lose my scholarship.
JEFF: Wow, um, okay. That's only four hours, though. I'm sure we
can work something out, can't we.
CINDY: I'd like to Jeff, but I don't think that it's going to
work out. Think about it logically for just a minute.
MATT: Now, that sounds like something Cindy would say.
JAY: Ouch, she's as cold as Matt's mom!
MATT: HEY!
CINDY: From eight in the morning until around 3, you're in classes.
From four until whatever time the coach gets done with you, you're
either practicing, working out, lifting weights or whatever it is you
guys do to get ready for the next game. That's Monday through
Friday, unless you're traveling to an away game. Then, on Saturday,
you've got the game to play. Sometimes it's in the afternoon;
sometimes it's at night. Either way, you're going to be spent that
day. I'm honestly hoping that on Sunday, you take the time to either
study for classes or soak in ice packs because the offensive line at
South Carolina is a bit suspect.
JEFF: Cindy, if I didn't know better, I'd swear that you were
planning this thing out for awhile now.
CINDY: I have. This is something that you should have been thinking
about, too.
JEFF: I'm sorry. I thought that we might actually be able to make
it, since we've been together for the last two years.
CINDY: It would have been nice, but it's not practical. Besides, you
were thinking about breaking up with me anyway.
JEFF: What? Who told you that?
CINDY: I'm not going to say because one, it's not important and,
two, you already know who told me.
JEFF: Uh
CINDY: I know that this is a lot to think about right now. So, I'll
give you a few seconds to compose your thoughts. (Cindy reaches for
her phone and begins to work on it, leaving Jeff dumbstruck)
JAY: This is better than watching a movie. It's so painful, yet I
can't turn away.
MATT: I think this might be the most painful thing I've ever had to
watch.
JEFF: You know, Cindy, I was hoping that this wasn't going to become
bitter and personal.
CINDY: It's not, but you're taking it that way. I'm sorry, but
there's nothing I can do about that.
JEFF: In two years' time, you have become the most nagging, annoying
person in the world.
CINDY: Can't be. You forgot about Matt.
MATT: OH COME ON!
JEFF: You're worse than Matt.
MATT: I'm sitting right here!
CINDY: These are just angry emotions coming out. Go ahead and vent.
JEFFF: Oh, I'm going to vent. I'm going to blow up like Pompeii!
CINDY: You're thinking about the volcano in Pompeii, Vesuvius, but I
get what you're saying.
JEFF: You know, you don't have to be right all the time. This
isn't a contest.
CINDY: Funny, that sounds like something I would say to you.
JEFF: (Rambling now, trying to get under Cindy's skin) I never liked
your mother.
CINDY: Impossible. My mother's a saint and you would run people over
just to get some of her fried chicken.
JEFF: Her chicken was always tasteless and rubbery.
CINDY: You would know. You ate enough of it.
JEFF: You know the reason why Duke offered you that scholarship,
right?
CINDY: Because I scored extremely high on my SATs and I have the top
GPA in our class?
JEFF: It's because you're a girl and they're giving you
preferential treatment.
CINDY: Yeah, because football jocks never get preferential treatment.
And I'll have you know I earned that scholarship, not because I'm
a girl, but because I'm smart.
JEFF: Yes, Cindy. You're smart. We all know just how smart you are!
You're smarter than the whole freaking town! Stephen Hawking is
actually trying to steal your theories on the universe.
CINDY: I'm not smarter than everyone and Stephen Hawking hasn't
actually contacted me yet. But I do know I'm smarter than you.
JAY: It's like a train wreck. If this was a boxing match, I would be
screaming for him to take a dive because he's getting killed in
there.
MATT: How much can one person take?
JEFF: You're right. You're smarter than me. We have all kinds of
test results that prove that. But at least I don't have chubby
ankles.
(Jeff has struck a nerve. Cindy becomes more and more unraveled)
CINDY: You take that back! I do not have chubby ankles!
JEFF: Um, yeah you do. Have you seen them? I'm sorry, how could you
not have. Everyone in school talked about how chubby they were.
CINDY: I do NOT have chubby ankles.
JEFF: Honestly, does the weight just slide down and stay at your
ankles or do you have your feet locked in a tourniquet so that they
don't get any bigger?
CINDY: That's a bit unfair, don't you think?
JEFF: If the shoes fit, wear them. Oh wait, they may not fit your big,
fat foot!
CINDY: Well, you're a bad football player.
JEFF: Now we both know that's not true. Why would I be playing at
South Carolina if I was a bad football player?
CINDY: If you're going to ask and answer your own questions, why do
you need me?
JAY: Is it wrong that I'm so attracted to her right now?
MATT: You don't get out much, do you?
JAY: I get out more than you.
JEFF: Come on, Cindy. Don't be jealous.
CINDY: Jealous of what? I never wanted to play football.
JEFF: It's just that, I know it must have been so hard on you,
knowing that I was so popular and yet, the only reason you were
popular was because you were on my arm.
CINDY: Your conceit really knows no limits, does it?
JEFF: Apparently not.
CINDY: Be that as it may, I was plenty popular.
JEFF: Yeah, from Matt's 'friend' Jaime and Jay's girlfriend
Rebecca. Watch out, Cindy's taking the world by storm!
JAY: (To Jeff) Dude, I know this may be a bad time and all, but it
would be crazy not to let me ask her out.
JEFF: That's strike two. For the final time, no, you may not ask her
out. I don't want you to even bring it up again.
JAY: You play football, not baseball, you freak. Geez, what kind of
friend are you?
CINDY: I'll have you know that I have plenty of friends.
JEFF: Oh, I forgot about Harold Lattimore. He was a 'good' friend,
wasn't he?
CINDY: I went out with him once because I felt sorry for him and you
know that.
JEFF: He came back to school, telling everyone how sweet you were and
that although a gentleman never tells what goes on during a date,
things went very, very well. We all caught his drift.
CINDY: It was more like a whiff of pimple cream. And at least I
didn't go out with someone the entire town's dated.
JEFF: Jennifer was a very nice girl.
CINDY: I was talking about Stacy Waldrop.
JEFF: Oh, well, yeah. She was nice, too. And I'm sure that it killed
you that she looked like a model.
CINDY: First of all, that was before I started dating you. Secondly,
if she looked like a model, Matt looks like Brad Pitt
MATT: Fine. Make me the punching bag. I get it. Ha ha.
CINDY: And finally, you went out with Stacy because she was the only
one who would go out with you.
JEFF: I'll have you know there were plenty of eligible ladies lined
up to date me. I did play football, after all.
CINDY: So you keep reminding me. Football, football, football!
JEFF: Would have been nice if you could have taken an interest in
something I liked.
CINDY: You know what, Jeff. It's getting late. Are we through here?
JEFF: Are you through?
CINDY: I've been done for awhile, just listening to you prattle on
incessantly.
JEFF: Then I guess we're done. Goodbye, Cindy.
CINDY: Goodbye, Jeff.
(Jeff walks back to the table. The guys have their mouths wide open.
Cindy gets up and walks off, stage left)
JEFF: So, that was it. Happy now? It was painful, brutal and horrible.
You'd think after dating someone for two years and knowing them
pretty much all of your life, you'd know them.
JAY: I want you to know, that was the most painful thing I've ever
heard.
MATT: Are you okay?
JEFF: I'll be all right. I mean, I'm going to be a college
football player soon. I'm going to be on national television.
(Pause)
JAY: That was the most painful thing ever.
JEFF: Thanks.
MATT: Jeff, I'm sorry about everything.
JEFF: Don't worry about it.
JAY: I'm sorry too, Jeff.
JEFF: Why are you sorry?
JAY: Because first thing tomorrow, I've got to ask her out.
(Jeff makes a futile attempt to grab Jay. Jay gets up and runs off
stage, laughing as he goes. Jeff runs after him. Matt cleans up the
cards, shakes head and walks off behind them)
[end of extract]